Inner Fallout
by the Zoshi
Summary: A nice little disjointed work about one of the mutants. More to follow. Rating for what's going to come up eventually. Sat on this one for almost half a year before posting it. Enjoy... R&R very appreciated! I need critique....
1. Default Chapter

Title: Inner Fallouts

Category: X-Men Evolution

Genre: Angst

Rating: PG-13 (it'll eventually get there, trust me)

Disclaimer: X-Men Evolution (c) Marvel

A/N: In order to really get a feel for this, I advise listening to Alkaline Trio's "Tuck Me In". That is the song that was playing when i was inspired to write this. Its not exactly a song that means anything to the story, but its a mood setter.

The lyrics can be found at www. songmeanings. net/ lyric.php? lid13997 (remove spaces)

Who's it about? Its pretty easy to figure out, really. Really, it is. This was originally written by me on April 16th, 2004, and posted on my livejournal. Long debates about whether to put it up here or not, but i thought 'what the hex', I needed some Evolution fanfics to add to my portfolio (snickers). rah rah....

* * *

Black nights, black nights, that's all he wanted. Dark so he wouldn't have to look and see.

See what?

He wasn't quite sure. There was something in the corner of his eye, everywhere he looked. Something was flitting there, unwanted thought or grinning imp.

He didn't like looking in the mirror anymore. There was someone else there, he knew it. Look away, try to catch them at it. Run in fast as you can, see if they trip up, stumble in to keep up with you.

Hours that had before been spent on preening were spent gazing at the silver suspiciously.

Back away slowly, turn, turn back. Lean to the side, watch as it reflects objects that are almost behind it.

Shudder.

Try to catch them blinking, try to catch them mess up a grin, move the wrong hand, look the wrong way.

They were bound to mess up eventually.

He placed his hands on the cool glass, pushed himself forward until the closeness transformed the mirror-pair of eyes into a single, elongated cyclops eye, double-pupiled surrounded by blue the color of glaciers.

Blink.

He was back in his room, glaring suspiciously at the walls. Poke at the neat stack of books in the corner, glance quickly to see it, it, wherever it was.

Nightmares were calling.

Curled up on the bed, arms wrapped around the pillow, pulling it close to him until his entire view was a hazy whiteness of hills. A creak, the roof groaned as the wind sighed softly through the trees outside.

Getting up, putting on a hooded sweatshirt, he stole a glance out the window, into darkness with pinpoints of yellow lamplight illuminating lonely streets.

He shuddered, pulled the hood down low over his eyes and pulled his hands into his sleeves, wrapped his arms around himself as he collapsed back on the bed. Curled up like a cat, pulling the hood even lower, he didn't want to see it anymore. Seeing was too hard, all he wanted was

black nights

black nights.

* * *

What do you think so far? Should I put up the next part? And then write more? It'll all be in this disjointed sort of manner, btw.

Thanks much.

Zoshi


	2. Inner Edges

Title: Inner Fallout

Category: X-Men Evolution  
Genre: Angst  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: X-Men Evolution (c) Marvel  
A/N: To truly get the feeling for this, you have to read the following:

"_Only You" Elvis Presley_

_Only you  
Can do make all this world seem right,  
Only you  
Can do make the darkness bright,  
Only you, and you alone  
Can feel me like you do  
And do fill my heart with love for only you._

_Only you  
Can do make all this change in me,  
For it's true  
You are my destiny.  
When you hold my hand, I understand  
The magic that you do,  
You're my dream come true,  
My one and only you._

_Only you  
Can do make all this change in me,  
For it's true  
You are my destiny.  
When you hold my hand, I understand  
The magic that you do,  
You're my dream come true,  
My one and only you._

Okay, now that you've done that, you can understand the rest a little better.

Oh, and yes, you MUST be thinking of the Elvis Presley version. Not any other, the E.P. only. Otherwise the feel is all wrong…

OH and tell me if the horizantal break looks greenish to you. LIke, dark green. Supposedly, QuickEdit is allowing me to color it. funness....

_

* * *

_  
"So, what, did your sex pool get so shallow you have to start hooking the bottom feeders now?"  
She was hurt. So was he.  
He'd wanted someone better. She did too.  
Obviously, their ideas of what was better didn't make a match.  
As she turned and walked he wondered what stories she'd heard, the real or the fake, the good or the bad. Wondered whether it mattered.  
Gathered the courage to have the tiny marble of hope scattered and lost among sticks and stones that were threatening to swallow him whole.  
Fight back the urge to run up, grab her by the shoulders, tell her everything that's been racing through his mind since the first time he'd seen her walk through the door, eyes down and brooding, brushed past by giggling bright colored parrots, a refreshing sort of darkened stability among rainbow chaos.  
Hours later he found himself hurrying past the tree where his friend sat discussing last weeks cafeteria food while she sketched on the back of her psychology notebook, replying that the salisbury steak hadn't been that bad but the carrots could have been less moldy.  
Shock, shock, shock, even though their talk was that of two people who had nothing more in common than a warm afternoon and a like for large chestnut trees and soft green grass that tickled the nose and made fine whistles to call birds with.

The spring poking through the couch fabric maliciously twisting itself into his back hurt almost as much as the growing dark deep emptiness somewhere far inside of him where he was too afraid to go and find it and shed some light through.  
"Stop looking at me..." growled at the mussed dirty-blond haired boy who had only wanted to share a few words, saw the pained surprise at the harsh tone in his eyes as he fell back to the couch, eyes darting to the TV set as he muttered quietly, then suddenly getting up and leaving as if he had somewhere else to be.  
A warm sort of horrible glee filled him at the pain, surprise, in the young boy's eyes, for a second, before icy waves of guilt hit him anew, the boy had done nothing wrong, and the stillness around him suddenly was too great. Racing, racing, the house was too empty, too detached no matter how hard he searched, no matter how often he was close enough to touch them they were too far away to keep the solitude of self-built walls from crashing down into him and crushing him and he found himself in his room, curled up away from the blare of the TV the radio, whimpering as he found himself alone, alone, and empty once again.

* * *

Endnotes: Really, I could be writing whatever the hell here, I don't think it'd matter, no one's gonna read this. I'm so optimistic, aren't I? Anyways, I sorta want to write more, sorta don't, sorta really feel like writing HP fanfics right now obsessobsess anyways, this was also written last April, April 17th, 2004.

Thankies much, please R&R,

Zoshi


End file.
